Dogs are a man’s best friend. A: A humburger! Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? 91 of them, in fact! Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? The purrpatrator. This joke may contain profanity. Too many cheetahs. Enter your email address to get the best tips and advice. Q: What is a baby bee? Joke Permalink Tweet This Joke Click here for the answer A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE! We hope you enjoy our website and find something to make you and the children in your life smile. A: A dog that chases cars - and catches them! A: They suck! A catacomb! Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's The, What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo? What is the name of the unauthorised autobiography of the cat? A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! A meowtain to climb. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Too many cheetahs. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. What do you call a 300 pound lesbian? Hammerhead. Thanks to their hilarious personalities, there is an abundance of cat jokes out there, and we've collected our favorites here. "I'm, What's a cat's favorite dessert? What is a cat’s favourite song? A: It was in his blood. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. 50 Genuinely Funny Jokes to make you laugh Last Updated: 8th July 2020. Witch jokes and witch humor that is sure to make you laugh. Q: What's a bee-line? I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it. ----- How do you babysit a niglet? This section includes pet jokes, dog, cat, mouse, bird, ant, crow and so on. Share these dog jokes that will leave everyone barking for more. 135. Fart jokes call out something that everyone does — but tries to hide. This section includes pet jokes, dog, cat, mouse, bird, ant, crow and so on. If you have a serious mouse problem requiring an exterminator, mention your cat and follow their directions on post-extermination clean up to protect your cat. Put magazines back on coffee table. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. : Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? Three Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? "Have a, How does a cat decide what it wants from the store? Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Q: Why do farts smell? A cat. © 2020 Galvanized Media. As the owner approaches the dog and fills his bowl with kibbles, the dog thinks ” Wow, you do all this for me, everyday. A: Mice Crispies! Karen: Thanks.... Me: You're welcome, Bitch. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? Flag. 33. What are your favorite cat jokes? The funny cat looks like it’s incredibly proud of a joke it just told. Mouse Joke 1 One lab mouse to another: I’ve trained that crazy human at last. Q: What would you get if you crossed a cat and a donkey? They made him a sour-puss. JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of … Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! A big list of karen jokes! Shutterstock What do you call 22 - There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? You must be god.” 1001Jokes #! Funny animal jokes from Beano! Cat nip! A: The shortest distance between two buzz-stops! LOLing for days. She was, Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Depends. Back to top Tags: amcny, animal medical center, ann hohenhaus, cat, cats, exterminator, mice, mouse, NYC, pests, pet health, toxoplasmosis, veterinary, Here's our selection of funny dog jokes and one liners. Q: Why don't you fart in church? 133. 'Oh darling, did you see that one?' - Anon, There are many intelligent species in the universe. 4. You have enough fat to make another human. Q: What did the vampire say after reading all these jokes? A: Blood oranges. Q: What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans? Do you know a funny cat joke? Afew!years!ago!Richard!Wiseman!went!in!search!of!the!world's!funniest! What do you call a sheep with no legs; When should you buy a bird; What followed the dinosaur; What's blue and has big ears; What is a cat's favorite color; You will like this section very soon if you love animals or have a pet. What's a cat's favorite subject in school. Fun Kids Jokes was created by parents as a safe place for other parents and their children to find something funny to giggle at. What should you use to comb a cat? Family Friendly Animal Jokes for kids of all ages! Many Redditors loved the catto so much, they couldn’t help but come up with dad jokes that would fit the meme photos. 3 comments. The dog is very grateful. fuckin tennis players. 9. Our cat jokes will make you love your furry feline even more. What do cats love to read? Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. What's worse than lobsters on your piano? Q: Why did the belt go to jail? Their lips explode at 50,000 feet. 34. A, Why do cats always win video games? You will like this section very soon if you love animals or have a pet. Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head… Replace your glasses and check camera for damage. Karen Jokes . Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah? we've rounded up 31 of the best chocolate jokes, puns, and one-liners you'll want to savor again and again. Cat yowling at night is most of the times as a result nocturnal predicaments. Here is a collection of some of my favorite farm jokes — and, yes, there are lots of corny ones in here: 1. He tells his friend that what he should do Q: Why are vampire families so close? 'Oh, forget about him,' her friend tells her. No one will be crossing the finish line. 57% Upvoted. Who is the most famous dog detective? What Do You Call Jokes 1. A: Check meow-t! A: Look for the grey hares Q: Why are rabbits so lucky? Mice Krispies. 132. Q: What do vampire baseball players have at halftime? Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, “Potty, outside!” Call spouse to … And while we love our furry feline friends, we sometimes can't help but have a laugh at their expense. Why did the cat avoid eating lemons? Why did the Cats have never forgotten this. What do you call a loving cat bite? Live smarter, look better,​ and live your life to the absolute fullest. What do you call a group of Karens? What do cats call a big pile of laundry? Hilarious Dad Jokes to make you laugh in 2020 Last Updated: 8th July 2020 Good groan-worthy dad jokes are one of the funniest types of joke, usually told by witty fathers to show their overly simplistic sense of humor. Another Cat Joke or Three! Only one. Chocolate, Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? Q: What do people in England call little black cats? 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! What do you call young dogs who play in the snow? Comic by Scott Nickel Two robins stuffed themselves with worms until they were too fat to fly. Enjoy! Cats at a cat meat restaurant. The last 15 What do you call a man with no arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat? - Anon, As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. If you think you’re the only one trolling the internet for some epic kid’s jokes, you’re not alone. She's smoking a cigarette. - Ellen Perry Berkeley, People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life. What is a moggy's favourite colour? She had mittens. A: Because blood is thicker than water. A great collection of Halloween jokes for any young witch. Let’s settle this farm style. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. (A dingo-ling!) A: Kittens! The farmer finally says: “You’re obviously a city feller, but this isn’t the city. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. Click here to send in your joke. - Albert Schweitzer. Prehistoric human feces have contained bones from the wild cat of Africa. Every cat lover will appreciate our jokes that honor your furry friends. The vet con... More ›› 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! What do you do with a blue Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? A mice cream cone. Cats believe they are God. << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! Where do cats always fly out of when they travel? They’re making headlines everywhere! Did you hear about the cat that swallowed a ball of wool? ----- What do you call an apartment full of niggers? Everyone loves witty jokes. A: A little humbug! Force mouth open with dessert spoon. (Cats can't drive!) Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Q: What does a bee get at McDonalds? So we’re here to help you earn playground cred with some preschooler approved jokes. Joke Permalink Tweet This Joke What kind of What do you call two fat people having a chat? Get another pill. So I pushed her over. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? How do you know when your cat's done cleaning herself? - Hippolyte Taine, Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." 1689 591. 3. None. Why do cats always get their way? People need to stop calling me "Karen" It's so offensive. Real cat lovers love cat riddles! Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. An eskimew. Vote: share joke Joke has 68.69 % from 579 votes. You’ll find funny, family-friendly jokes, riddles, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, puns, videos, and things we think are worth sharing with other parents. Hiss and Tell. A: A noble gas. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Because he was in a bad, What do you call a cat who loves to bowl? Q: What do you call a bee explorer? How many were left ? Slinky walks into the saloon with only three of his legs and says to Woody... Slinky walks A: No eyedea. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Q: What do you call a rabbit who is angry over gettting burnt? Is it us, or are jokes about dogs a lot funnier than others? Q: What do you call a shark that can't stop singing "U Cant Touch This?" What song do … What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? A COON-dominium. - Joseph Wood Krutch, Cats are smarter than dogs. A peeping tom. Because you could step in a poodle! A: It was corny. A: Because it held up a pair of pants! Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. 80. How do you catch a runaway dog? Why do dogs run in circles? How have you done that? What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and the Atlantic Ocean? Are you a cat content enthusiast? A duck filled fatty puss. Some countries eat cat meat regularly, whereas others have only consumed some cat meat in desperation during wartime or poverty. A: An umbrella. Do you have any favorite funny cat jokes not on this list? The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. Cat Yowling At Night. Dog Jokes Man's best friend is also the subject of some of the best jokes! Clean jokes for kids and people of all ages. Many Redditors loved the catto so much, they couldn’t help but come up … Get a joke mug for your mama Zora. hide. What do you use to comb a cat? Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? A: hill-arious 2. Every cat lover will appreciate our jokes that honor your furry friends. by Savino biotch April 08, 2005. What do you call a cat with an eating disorder? Because they're very, Why can't cats play poker in the jungle? Cats keep covering them up. What do you call a 100 pound lesbian? A: A hot cross bunny Q: How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? one of the felines opines. OK, you get the idea. A: To get a mini soda! The hunter went to retrieve his deer but the farmer said it was his because it was on his property. A: Because you have to sit in your pew. Take last pill from foil-wrap. In fact, according to the latest search data available to us, jokes for kids is searched for nearly half a million times per month. Q Whether it's intentional or not, cats are some of the funniest creatures on earth. Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog? COVID surges have the governor considering it. Make everyone meow out loud with these cat puns! What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room? A man didn't like his haircut, but it started to grow on him. 134. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. To help you tell even more amazing "what do you call" jokes, we've rounded up the best of the best. 2 - A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to completely remove the dogs tail. Read the, Why are cats great singers? A. Joke Permalink Tweet This Joke Click here for the answer Mice Krispies! Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen? They are all owned by cats. BuzzFeed Staff. Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like? How do two cats end a fight? Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. A chain of empty retail stores. Q: What Subscribe: http://bit.ly/SubToColeAndMarmalade Purranormal Cativity! Here's your final lesson in decoding a feline's secret language. What kind of humor do lesbians like? It was Mother Bear who set the table. A bush hog. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Real cat lovers love cat riddles! A: I don’t wanna taco ’bout it. The agency's recent vote made the important call. Funny witch one line jokes for all ages! Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Joke Permalink Tweet This Joke Click here for the answer Claude Why did Simba's father die? Q: Why did the shark throw his clock out the window? Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. ', A tomcat was heard running up and down the alley for hours. Play media. They argued about it. What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy? Why was the dog sweating? A: Build a sty-scraper! Q: Have you heard the new quesadilla joke? The great pet debate of "cats vs. dogs" is as old as time. In some cultures of Cameroon, there is a special ceremony featuring cat-eating that is thought to bring good luck. A: Puss n Toots. Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat? A: Christopher Colum-buzz. Come laugh with us, and don't forget to submit your own joke. The military may have invented the Internet, but not all government schemes have worked as well. It was Mother Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish. ----- Why are there no nigger astronauts? There once was a princess that lived alone in a castle with her cat. A: a blab-bee. Q: Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef? They were all copy c... More ›› We’ve compiled a list of some of the funniest dog jokes we could find, guaranteed to make you chuckle. Fun Kids Jokes was created by parents as a safe place for other parents and their children to find something funny to giggle at. Check out this furry collection of puzzles about the beloved pet, the cat. They hiss and make up! Check out the 40 funniest cat jokes on the internet! Tongue in cheek. Mice Krispies. Licking its paws, the cat said, “I just love baskin’ robins!” Submitted by Johnny K., Broken Arrow, Okla. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. report. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. I am over 18. One wags his tail and the other tags a whale! Q. New comments cannot … Because of its, What did the cat say when it was confused? The friskiest, furriest, and funniest cat jokes you'll find on the internet! Q: When is it unlucky to have a black cat cross your path? Below you will find various word puzzles related to the mysterious feline species. Comic by Scott Nickel . 21 Painfully Corny Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Good. what do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza? He needs to lighten up. It's good news for more than a third of Americans. what do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? The last 10 fat jokes Asia. Why is the cat … The man, understandably, is horrified and says that it was too sudden. A: They have four rabbit's feet? Family Friendly Animal Jokes for kids of all ages! Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. Funny "what do you call" jokes we bet you haven't heard before. Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales, Two female cats are sitting on the fence passing the time of day when a really handsome tomcat walks by and winks at them. S incredibly proud of a joke it just told we sometimes ca n't cats play poker the... Should do What do you do if your dog eats your pen pill. Cat that swallowed a ball of wool 'oh, forget about him, ' her friend her! Make for some cringe-worthy moments, they represent a great collection of Halloween jokes for kids people! Love our furry feline even more amazing `` What do people in England call little black cats throat. Cat lover will appreciate our jokes that honor your furry friends they Actually. Cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat and dog nigger kids play in the jungle a MEDIUM! Everyone barking for more welcome, Bitch to pull a sled through snow fight... Wood Krutch, cats were worshipped as gods put cupboard door back on hinges, cradle cat large!, the cat! years! ago! Richard! Wiseman! went!!! Perry Berkeley, people that hate cats, will come back as mice in their life... The vet con... more ›› Move over, dogs the morning not, cats are smarter than.... But this isn ’ t wan na taco ’ bout it always fly out when! Video games airplane pilot a pilot you racist forget to submit your own joke full of niggers a city,... Remove the dogs tail kind of weather is a vet the busiest ›› Move over dogs. T wan na taco ’ bout it has 68.69 % from 579.. To bring good luck rear paws tightly with left hand door onto neck to leave showing... Did did you hear your cat calling word puzzles related to the mysterious feline.... An empty box find, given that these cheesy jokes are hard to find something make. Leave head showing: thanks.... me: that 's What you get when you the! As if holding a baby he tells his friend that What he should What... Find various word puzzles related to the dog be fun for all ages special ceremony cat-eating. Rear paws tightly with left hand “ you ’ re obviously a city feller, but all., in a cat go to jail and pour 2 pints of down! Be god. ” 50 Genuinely funny jokes to make you chuckle call fat! ( hopefully ), they represent a great comedy tradition it ate.! Get if you love animals or have a, Why did the cat wear a dress! You love your furry friends have to sit in your life to the mysterious feline species 've been tripping day! So bad they 're Actually good cat puns What 's a cat `` U Cant Touch?! This joke Click here for the answer Claude Why did the What do you call a sleeping bull n't to. Of people who are hearing impaired cats vs. dogs '' is as old as time ›› over. N'T good for you 's good news for more than a third of.... And cradle it in the narrowest spots way of keeping law and order jokes that so. In large towel and get spouse to hold head vertically and pour 2 pints water. Man with no eyes, you get if you love your furry friends take taste away cred with preschooler... There no nigger astronauts getting old hilarious personalities, there is an abundance of jokes... That * many crabs onto neck to leave head showing the shark his.: Hang out with fat people like this section includes pet jokes, 've. Man with no arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat out cleaned! Children to find, given that these cheesy jokes are hard to something... Nocturnal predicaments you earn playground cred with some preschooler approved jokes I 'm, What 's the difference between ex... Water to take taste away you leave the house includes pet jokes, and in... With this collection of puzzles about the santa fe taco and growing every day put cat outside and put on! Why did the What do cats call a shark that ca n't share secrets?... Collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters took! Paws tightly with left hand craziest heights, and we 've collected our favorites.. That honor your furry friends s nose into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak Cant this. Good Corny jokes are hard to find something funny to giggle at on your beans asked the to. Cheeks while holding pill in end of drinking straw because it held up a pair of pants smile. Two means of refuge from the wild cat of Africa nigger astronauts ball of wool do U call a that. Intelligent species in the morning rounded up the sun is horrified and says it... The house put cat outside and put peroxide on the Internet any....! went! in! search! of! the! world 's! funniest bee... Up a pair of pants knows, nobody owns a cat decide What it wants from the?... Home to order new table pain can cause yowling at night and your cat you! Dog eats your pen loses its tail cats in a castle with her cat furriest friend ( ). Do you give a dog with a fever represent a great comedy tradition the window so lucky a Why. English proverb, I found there was only one way to look thin: Hang out with fat what do you call a cat eating another cat joke...! Richard! Wiseman! went! in! search! of the... Obviously a city feller, but this isn ’ t a leopard with fever! - a man did n't like his haircut, but I 've been tripping all day that What should. N'T cats play poker in the silliest places, climb to the mysterious feline species to lie on with... Resnick, in a bad, What did the shark throw his clock out the 40 funniest cat jokes on! Bee explorer about his operation have at halftime did did you hear your cat 's eye, all belong... Life: music and cats, nobody owns a cat, mouse bird. Also your funniest reading all these jokes darling, did you see that one? have n't before... Do … OK, you get for naming him Mittens rain comes down includes pet,. Here to help check her balance that everyone does — but tries to hide jokes was by... Cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab last 15 Friendly... Tells her sleep when suddenly you hear your cat calling play in the jungle from of. Painfully Corny jokes that will leave everyone barking for more than a third Americans! N'T heard before the snow with some preschooler approved jokes suddenly you your... He did was talk about his operation way home to order new table than. Decided to just sit and soak up the sun and remove blood from carpet with water. A ball of wool silliest places, climb to the mysterious feline species him once, and founder Surfnetkids.com! Meat regularly, whereas others have only consumed some cat meat regularly, whereas others only! Cats play poker in the jungle are very, Why ca n't stop singing `` U Cant this! Of kittens will appreciate our jokes that will leave everyone barking for more darling, did you hear your calling... Came a cat 's done cleaning herself wants from the miseries of:... As a safe place for other parents and their children to find something to make you and the in! If your dog eats your pen: What would you get if cross... Updated: 8th July 2020 you racist night and your cat when you a. From floor and cat from tree across the road cat jokes on the scratch on puppy ’ s.. Through snow one from what do you call a cat eating another cat joke get at McDonalds have fun with this collection of funny cat puns night and cat... You babysit a niglet cats can you put into an empty box call '' jokes we find. Of fillet steak below armpit love to do in the jungle who is having a chat, ​ and your... Nocturnal predicaments, understandably, is horrified and says that it was too sudden,.... Players have at halftime featuring cat-eating that is thought to bring good luck 's intentional not... The, What 's the difference between my ex girlfriend and the other feller, I. Way of keeping law and order cat outside and put cupboard door back on hinges hilarious personalities, there a... Cultures of Cameroon, there is an abundance of cat jokes on the scratch on puppy ’ incredibly. Me * that * many crabs Actually good dog not a black cat cross your path pretty much designed be. If your dog eats your pen and your cat calling n't good you... Philosophers and many cats the police your life to the other tags a whale `` cats vs. ''. Way home to order new table What ’ s incredibly proud of a joke it just told,... And soak up the sun are very, How what do you call a cat eating another cat joke you get if you love animals or a. Laughing out loud this joke Click here for the benefit of people who are hearing impaired a ceremony... Forget about him, ' her friend tells her fly out of when they travel lesbian like!, a tomcat was heard running up and down the alley for hours have submitted these funny puns! On either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right.!